Oleh Ustadzah Nur Hamidah, Lc., M.Ag.
Delivered at the Halaqoh Online Study on Tuesday for Female Expatriates, March 9, 2021
Whose kid?
According to the Convention on the Rights of the Child PBB which is ratified in the Child Protection Law: "A person aged 0-18 years."
Children are a beginner phase in the human life span. Islam calls it waladun (not bound by age).
When viewed from the age range, children are divided into two phases: before and after puberty. Before adolescence, it is divided into the phases of shibyun (toddlers), Thiflun (pre-school age).
Definition of a child according to Islam
Categories of children according to Islam based on their legal position:
- Baligh or adult. Marked by the arrival of menstruation in girls or the arrival of wet dreams in boys.
- Pre-baligh or children. The sign is that they have obtained the taklif (imposition) of the syara 'law, they must be accountable for every word, attitude, and action they do, both before Allah and before the law apparatus in the world.
Assistance of mothers to children:
- Bintun / Ibnun. Al-Qur'an Sura 4:23, 24:31, legacy verses 4: 7-14. This is usually for nasab, mahram, and inheritance laws.
- Usually for pre-aligh age children in the tarbiyah method. Al-Qur'an Sura 24: 58-59. Usually his education is called raudatul athfal.
- Waladun or awladun. Well this is not limited to age. As long as there are parents, then still, until the age of 40 years, they are still children to their parents. His education is called tarbiyatul awlad.
Children according to the Qur'an 46:15, assistance until the age of 40 years.
There are 3 education obligations of parents in tarbiyah awlad (not limited by age), referring to Islamic fiqh by Abdul Karim Zaidan, volume 10. Namely:
- Providing teaching and knowledge insights to children.
- Instill manners and ethics.
- Shaping the character of the child.
Interact with children
There are several arguments regarding the interaction between parents and children. That is:
- Hatred towards those who wish for the death of girls.
Abdullah bin Abu Syaibah told us: Ibn Mahdi told us: From Sufyan: from Uthman bin Harits Abi Ar-Ruwwa 'from Ibn Umar, "There was a man standing near him; and the man has several daughters. He hoped that all of the girls would die. Knowing this, Ibn Umar became angry, saying, 'Are you the one who provides sustenance for them?' "
- Appreciate children.
Abdulah bin Salih told us: Laith told me: Write to Hisham: From his Father: From Aisha radhiyallahu 'anha, he said, "Abu Bakr radhiyallahu' anhu once said, 'By Allah! there is no one on earth whom I love more than Umar. When he came home, he said, "How do I swear O my daughter?" Then I said to him, then he said, "the child is more noble than me and the child is more loved in the heart."
Musa told us: Mahdiy bin Maimum \ n told us: Ibn Abi Yaqub told us: From Ibn Abu Nu'aim, he said, "I have seen Ibn Umar, then he was asked by someone about the blood of mosquitoes? Then Ibn Umar asked, 'What country are you from?' He replied, 'From the Iraqi population'. Then Ibn Umar said, 'Look at this person, he asked me about the blood of mosquitoes, even though they had killed the son of the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wasallam, I heard the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam say, "My two sons (Hasan and Husayn) are two fragrant people from the world. "
- Caring full of love.
Abu Walid told us: Shuba told us: From Adi bin Thabit: I heard Al Barra 'say, I saw the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wasallam, while Hasan was on his shoulders saying, "O Allah! indeed I love him, so love him.
- Children eye and heart conditioning.
Bisyr bin Muhammad told us: Abdullah told us: Shafwan bin Amr reported to us: Abdurrahman bin Jubair bin Nufair told me: From his father said, "We visited (place) Al Miqdad ibnu Al Aswad one day. Then there was someone passing by saying, 'It is very happy for the two eyes that have seen Rasulullah sallallahu' alaihi wasallam. ' By Allah, we want to see what you see and see what you see. Then the man was angry and I became amazed, because he said nothing but kind words! Then I went to him and he said, 'One will not care about what Allah has lifted from him to bring back to him?' He doesn't know, if he saw it then how could it be? For the sake of Allah! indeed have come to the Messenger of a group of people-hopefully Allah will turn their faces to them in Hell Jahannam-they do not accept (da'wah) it and do not justify it! Don't you praise Allah Azza wa Jalla when you save you and you don't know except only your Lord. Therefore, justify what has been brought by your Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam. [You have been saved from calamities caused by other than you. By Allah, truly the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam was sent] in very difficult conditions from conditions that had never been sent by a prophet before, namely during the time of fatrah (no sending of the Prophet) and the period of ignorance, which they did not see good from worshiping idols! The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam came with (Al Furqan) as a differentiator between the right and the vanity, between parents and children, and to the extent that someone got his father or child, or siblings in an infidel state. Indeed, Allah has unlocked the door of his heart with faith, and he knows that if he slips then he will go to hell. But his heart is not comforted (calm) because he knows that his lover is in hell and as what Allah has said, 'And those who say: O our Lord, give us our wives and our offspring as pleasing to our hearts (we )… '”(Surah Al Furqan (25): 74)
- Pray for others for the blessings of their children and assets.
Musa bin Ismail told us: Sulaiman bin Al-Mughirah told us: From Thabit: From Anas, he said. "One day I visited the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam. There was no one (at that time) except me, my mother, and Umm Haram aunt (from the mother). When the Messenger of Allah met us, he said, 'Shouldn't we pray and I become the imam?' It was not yet the time for prayer. Then someone from that people said, 'Where was Anas radhiallahu' anhu placed by Rasulullah? ' Then the answer was, 'Anas is positioned on his right.' Then Rasulullah prayed with us and then prayed for us — the whole house — with all the goodness of the goodness of the world and the good of the hereafter. Then my mother said, 'O Messenger of Allah! Your little servant (Anas) pray to Allah for him. ' Then Rasulullah did it with all kindness, then Rasulullah SAW ended his prayer, "O Allah, multiply his property and his children and bless him."
- God's love for loving mothers.
Muslim bin Ibrahim told us: Ibn Fadhalah told us: Bakr bin Abdullah Al-Muzani told us: From Anas bin Malik, “A woman came to Aisyah radiallahu anha, then Ayesha gave her three dates and the woman gave them to each of them. each child has one date, and leaves one date for himself. But the two children after eating the dates, he looked at his mother, then the woman saw one date (which was left for him), then he split it in half and gave to each of the children. After that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came, so Ayesha radiallahu anha told him. Then the Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: "What makes you wonder about this incident? Really Allah has loved him because he has loved his son. "
- Kiss with love.
Muhammad bin Yusuf told us: Sufyan understood us: From Hisham: From Urwah: From Aisha radiallahu 'anha, he said: "The Arab Bedouins came to the Prophet sallallaahu' alaihi wasallam and asked," Do you kiss your children? we don't kiss them! " Then the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam said: "Will I be able to hold back for you if Allah takes love out of your heart?"
Abul Yaman told us: syuaib reported to us: From Az-Zuhri: Abu Salamah bin Abdurrahman told us: That Abu Hurairah said, "Rasulullah sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam kissed Hasan ibn Ali, while beside him was Al Aqra' ibnu Habis At. -Tamimi was sitting, then Aqra 'said,' Verily I have ten children, I never kissed any of them! ' The Messenger of Allah -peace and prayer of Allah be upon him- saw him and said, "Whoever does not love, he will not be loved."
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