Fathers don't support, daughters have become the backbone of the family since they were 19 years old

Peace be upon you, Ustadz. Sorry in advance, I want to ask about the obligation to provide for a father to his family.

He has a grown daughter and is not married. Currently the status of the child is the backbone of the family. All costs are borne by the daughter. Since he was 19 years old until now he is 26 years old.

Meanwhile, his father never gave a penny to his family. He is no longer the backbone of the family, even though he is still relatively healthy and strong enough to earn a living if he only rides motorbike taxis.

The mother feels guilty for her daughter. Because according to him, the child is still the obligation of the parents until the child is married and the child should not be the backbone of the family.

How do Islamic teachings view this case legally? And, what should each party named in this case do?

thanks.

ANSWER:

Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings be upon you

WL…

It is the duty of the head of the household, namely the father, to provide maintenance to his wife and children. A man or father becomes a leader as well as the life support for his family, so that Allah Subhanãhu wa Ta'ala glorifies him.

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّ ٰ⁠مُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَاۤءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضࣲ وَبِمَاۤ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنۡ أَمۡوَ ٰ⁠لِهِمۡۚ {سُورَةُ النِّسَاءِ: ٣٤}

"Men are leaders for women, because Allah has exalted some of them (men) over some others (women), and because they (men) have spent some of their wealth." {QS An-Nisa': 34}

Allah Subhanãhu wa Ta'ala also says:

Amen

"And it is the duty of the father to provide for their maintenance and clothing in a proper manner." {QS Al-Baqarah: 233}

Likewise with children, it is the duty of a father to provide for him. It was narrated by Abu Hurairah radliyallãhu'anhu, that there was a man who said: 'O Messenger of Allah, I actually have one dinar.' Rasulullah said: "Infakan for yourself." The man said: 'I have another.' Rasulullah said: "Infak it on your child." The man said: 'I have another.' The Prophet said: "Infak it on your wife." The man said: 'I have another.' The Prophet said: "Infak it on your servant." The man said again: 'I have another.' Rasulullah said: "You know better with him." (HR Baihaki)

According to the Syafi'i school of thought, the obligation of a father to provide for his child is if the child is still small, not yet mature, has no assets, is in the pursuit of knowledge, is crazy, or is sick.

However, if the child is independent and has income, or is married, then the parents are not obliged to provide for their child.

Providing maintenance to parents for children is an obligation. Especially, boys even though they are married. With a note, he can. As for a daughter, if she is married she is not obliged to provide for her parents. Except, if her parents are poor and have to ask permission from her husband.

It is stated in the book Al-Majmu' Syarah Al-Muhaddzab: “Relatives who are entitled to a living are both parents and above (grandparents, and so on), children and so on. And it is obligatory for children to provide for father and mother. The argument is the word of Allah Subhanãhu wa Ta'ala:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلا تَعْبُدُوا إِلا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا {سورة الإسراء: ٢٣}

"And your Lord has commanded you not to worship other than Him and you should do good to your parents in the best way possible." {QS Al-Isra': 23}

Among doing good to both of them is giving a living.

However, giving a living must be in a way that is acceptable or proper or appropriate. Both the maintenance of parents to children or children to parents.

Giving a living must be proportional according to needs and should not be excessive. Moreover, if parents who should still be strong at work but instead rely on their children to provide for them. Moreover, the child is an unmarried woman.

In essence, we must equally carry out our respective duties so as not to abuse our rights. Islam is a middle religion, so in matters of living, one must put it in the right position.

Children have the opportunity to do good to both parents by giving it to them. However, parents also should not rely on their children's livelihood if they are still able to work so that household life runs dynamically and harmoniously.

May Allah ease all our affairs, amen.

Peace, mercy and blessings of God

(Answered by Ustadz Very Setiyawan, Lc., S.Pd.I., MH)

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