Family Education in the Qur'an

DDHK.ORG - There are five goals for the establishment of Islamic law (Maqoshid asy-Sharia). That is:

1. Keeping the soul;
2. Safeguard property;
3. Keeping sense;
4. Maintain religion;
5. Keeping offspring.

إِنَّ هَٰذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ وَيُبَشِّرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ الَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ الصَّيُبَشِّرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ الَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ الصَّالِحهُنْ

"Indeed, this Al Quran gives directions to a more straight (path) and gives good news to those of the Mu'min who do good deeds that for them there is a great reward." (Surah Al-Isra: 9)

Fulfillment of family rights and obligations in Islam

The concept of family education according to the view of the Qur'an is a reference for the development of the sakinah, mawaddah, and warrahmah families. Allah says:

ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون

"And among the signs of His power, He created for you wives of your own kind, so that you might be inclined and at ease with them, and made Him among you a sense of love and affection. In fact, in this there are signs for people who think. " (Ar-Rum: 21)

Of course, you also have to follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad, how to get along with your wife, children, family and society.

Allah says:

لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِهَِ

"Indeed, the Prophet (himself) is a good role model for you (namely) for those who hope for (the mercy) of Allah and (the arrival of) the Day of Resurrection and he chants a lot of Allah." (Al-Ahzab: 21)

Husbands have big responsibilities in the family. The obligation to give dowry to the wife (QS An-Nisa: 4 and 24), and provide a living (needs), so that it has one level higher than his wife (QS Al-Baqarah: 233 and QS At-Talaq: 7).

Another obligation of a husband is to have sex with his wife in a good way (Surah An-Nisa: 19). According to Azar Bashir, having sex with his wife in a ma'ruf way includes 3 things. That is:

1. Respect, respect, and good treatment, as well as increasing their standard of living in the fields of religion, morals and science.
2. Safeguard and protect the good name of the wife.
3. Meet their biological needs.

The obligation of a wife to her husband is not in direct material form, but in non-material form, such as being obedient and obedient to her husband (QS An-Nisa: 34) within the limits of Islamic law. In addition, the wife must also strive to carry out reproductive functions properly and healthily. As for the determination of when and the number of offspring, it is carried out by deliberation between the two (Surah Asy-Syuura: 38).

Meanwhile, the joint obligations of husband and wife, according to Syafrudin, have 3 forms, namely:

1. It's okay to hang out and have fun between the two of them. This is the true essence of a marriage (Surah An-Nisa: 19 and Al-Baqarah: 187).
2. The husband's relationship with his wife's family and vice versa: the wife's relationship with her husband's family.
3. Inherited relationships between husband and wife. Each party has the right to inherit the other party in the event of death.

Plus, if you have a breed:

1. Maintain and educate the offspring born from this marriage.
2. Maintain a household life that is sakinah, mawaddah, and mercy.

Parents have a responsibility towards their children. That is:

1. Since in the womb. According to the scholars, children already have rights even though they have not received obligations. The rights of the child in the womb include, among other things, inheritance rights, testament rights, and the right to care for property.
2. Parents have the obligation to care for, nurture and educate the child, starting from preparing for pregnancy, checking the health of the fetus, giving birth to it safely, caring for, maintaining and monitoring its development, and educating it so that it becomes a child who is healthy, pious, and knowledgeable (hadlonah) .

Meanwhile, the obligations of children to their parents are as stated in the letter Al-Isra: 23:

وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما

“And your Lord has commanded that you should not worship other than Him and that you should do the best you can to your mother and father. If either one of them or both come to an advanced age in your care, then you may not say to both of them the word "ah" and do not yell at them and say to them a glorious word. "

Also, in Surah Al-Ahqaf: 15:

ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه إحسانا حملته أمه كرها ووضعته كرها وحمله وفصاله ثلاثون شهرا حتى إذا بلغ أشده وبلغ أربعين سنة قال رب أوزعني أن أشكر نعمتك التي أنعمت علي وعلى والدي وأن أعمل صالحا ترضاه وأصلح لي في ذريتي إني تبت إليك وإني من المسلمين

"We command humans to do good to two mothers and fathers, their mothers bear them with difficulty, and give birth with difficulty (as well). To contain her until weaning her is thirty months, so that when she is an adult and is up to forty years old she prays: "O my Lord, show me to be grateful for Your blessings which You have given me and to my mother and father and so that I can do righteous deeds that are good. You are happy; give kindness to me by (giving kindness) to my children and grandchildren. Verily I repent to You and indeed I am one of those who surrendered ".

Models of the family in the Qur'an:

1. Abu Lahab's family (Surah Al-Lahab: 1-5)
2. Pharaoh's family (Syrah At-Tahrim: 11)
3. Family of Prophet Noah AS and Prophet Lut AS (Surah Noah: 5-7 and At-Tahrim: 10)
4. The family of the prophet Ibrahim AS and the prophet Muhammad SAW.

If there is a dispute between husband and wife, it must be returned to religious guidance. Allah says:

يا أيها الذين آمنوا أطيعوا الله وأطيعوا الرسول وأولي الأمر منكم فإن تنازعتم في شيء فردوه إلى الله والرسول إن كنتم تؤمنون بالله واليوم الآخر ذلك خير وأحسن تأويلا

"O you who believe, obey Allah and obey the Prophet (Him), and ulil amri among you. Then if you have different opinions about something, then return it to Allah (Al Quran) and Rasul (Sunnah), if you really believe in Allah and the day after. That is greater (for you) and better as a result. " (Surah An-Nisa: 59)

Solutions to overcome husband-wife disputes in an Islamic manner:

1. Husband / wife must know the root of the problem or the reasons for it.
2. Husbands must know for sure that in their wives there is a trait to cross. This is the nature of creation and nature that Allah SWT has given him.
3. Husbands should be grateful, be blessed with wives who are greater, smarter, more patient, and wiser in their views. However, this does not mean that the wife may be exploited for the benefit of her husband.
4. The husband is the leader, but he must not be authoritarian, harsh, and rude. Instead, the husband should protect, educate, love, put everything in its place, either firmly or gently.
5. Husband gives advice in ways that Allah SWT has given in rectifying the shortcomings of his wife. That is:

• Exhorting is gentle and inspiring, done at the right time and at the right level.
• Stay away from the wife's bed when the first way is not able to.
• Hit her with a harmless blow so as to soften the hardness of the wife's heart, not hurt her, and if it is believed to change her for the better (but how much better it is avoided).
• Asking for help from a peacemaker from both sides (husband and wife). This is a last resort, when the previous methods have no meeting point.

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Oleh Ustadz Awang Ridwa, S.Ag., Lc., MA, submitted to the study of the Online Migrant Madrasah DDHK, Saturday, March 27, 2021.

>>> Friends of Migrants in any country can take part in the study of Madrasah Perantau Online every Saturday and Sunday, via Zoom and broadcast LIVE on Facebook page Dompet Dhuafa Hong Kong.