Questions that can be explored during Taaruf

Assalamualaikum.

Chaplain, I want to ask.

In connection with the material presented in the DDHK Online Perantau Madrasah (MPO) study about marriage, can we ask a man who is explosive about his identity? For example, do you like to congregate in the mosque, where do you work with what income, do you have debt, do you want to stay at my house. And for example, you are tested to read the Koran first.

Is questioning these things permissible in Islam? Is it ethical for a woman to ask such questions? And, am I classified as a "material" woman if I ask that?

Thank you, Ustadz.

Salam,

Fulanah

ANSWER:

Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Before answering the questions, we need to know first the Islamic principles regarding ta'aruf. Namely:

1. Ta'aruf for those who are able and ready to marry;
2. Religious and moral criteria are considered ta'aruf;
3. The ta'aruf process is confidential;
4. There is a third party or person accompanying the ta'aruf process;
5. Nadzar activities or seeing potential partners during ta'aruf.

In this process, we can introduce ourselves to each other and of course commitments in the household later.

7 questions to ask:

1. How to understand the family and the vision and mission of marriage;
2. How is the worship he lives;
3. How is the understanding of the roles, rights and obligations of husband and wife;
4. How to manage emotions and conflicts;
5. How to manage yourself and finances;
6. How is the relationship with the family; and
7. How about understanding yourself, ideals, and the future.

So, these 7 questions can be explored.

Wallâhu a'lam bish-showâb.

Regards!

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